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recreation

by remy owen

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1.
grief 04:33
you feel it too, I see the pain and I'm already through, but there's nothing to do, surrender your veins and you're passing anew. I believe I am waiting for the helplessness in me to overcome my peace of mind until I am waiting for a [bodyless/body, less] relief. I never want to see you cry for me, I have nothing left to give you for disease, so you are best to leave behind, and grieve, all the love you ever thought you felt from me. I have wasted all your time and spilled over my cover. understand that it's a lie that I see in your heart. I am tearing off my skin; the pain is unavoidable. let this train miss its station and fly into the dark. but it's plain to see there is nothing else beyond your self belief. If you admitted I was right, perhaps I would not be damned for terminality. but I digress, everything's fine, you see, nothing matters when you give up everything, and then you focus on the time you have and how you can then surrender to the [scene/sea]. I am left without my blood and I've given my heart, but I know nothing of your love, you can redeem your membership when we're apart. you'll notice you're moving slower than your mind, but you can't pretend that you are doing fine. Believe there is nothing but a hopelessness in me, because I'm keen to leave behind the genes that never tried to understand my only needs, or I will give up all my time, and keep letting go of all your faults and shortcomings, so I can walk you to a life that's free of the panic that you drop in everything. you'll notice I'm moving slower than your mind, but it's over when you can't pretend you've died.
2.
the light 01:39
walk down feel around and I can't see you I just need to tell you I am lost and you can't find me well, presumably, since I can't find you and it's quiet too; it's so dark in here; are we in a room? is this outside? are we all right? no, I don't know why it's so hard for me tonight I found the light-- --right.
3.
irresponsive 04:20
the irresponsibility when a mother wants to have a child (I want to start a new life, before I've figured out mine) becomes the mortal enemy when they see that nothing here is worth while (I cannot bear to feel it, if all that's left for me is time) I came from a womb that was grieving, spilled blood in the room--I'm still heaving-- but when I try to justify my life and time, I come up empty handed, nothing here is fine. I listen to your explanations and I can say, truly, you weren't right. your willingness for reparations won't save you from the darkness of the night. take this as you will, not believing, seen sights on your own, solely breathing to go to places where you're finally who's right I'll never understand why truth becomes the fight I tried to see clearly through fog without giving any thought about my lights if everything's ending then I will just leave you with another piece of mind: I am not who's misbehaving, your thirst is empty craving tonight, I know I will die I am wrong about everything, but I still try I still try
4.
recreation 05:22
I never thought I'd be I never thought I'd see quite like you I never thought I'd feel this lonely and unreal, just like you take it easy, don't let it shine staying busy will change your mind and I feel all right keep it together and don't look back there's nothing changing, just stay on track and I won't follow don't let me take up space don't let me recreate just like you I cannot find my way I have no heart in play, just like you (it's true) take it easy, don't let it show follow your heart and don't let go and I feel all right keep it together, yeah, don't look back stay together, and stay on track and I won't follow I never want to be I never want to seem just like you don't let me take up space this moment can't erase I'm like you take time, remind me not to talk again be kind, remind me not to think again take time, remind me not to say why be kind, remind me not to tell them why take time be kind remind me I don't have to tell them why I need to take some time I never want to be I'll always want to flee one like you you'll always take up space you never can erase one like you take time, remind me not to get started I hear it in every sentence I speak, you know I feel weak every sentence I speak, you know I feel weak I hear it in every sentence you speak, I know you feel I'm weak
5.
bellyup 01:32

about

the album for the end of the beginning.


---


Hello everybody out there, it's been a bit now hasn't it. I'm very pleased to share with you this little album that I have finally been able to complete. Originally, 'recreation' was something I was going to release in 2019, but after finishing 'was never • will never be' I found myself incapable of having a relationship with music making like I used to. The last couple years have been serious ones of self discovery for me, and 'recreation' stands as a summary of what I have felt and found along the way. I hate to burden the cliche of saying it's my most personal and emotional work yet, but I'll frame it like this: everything I have made before this has come from a place of trying to prove my value, trying to be clever, or trying to impress. I've given up on existing as a vessel for the satisfaction of others, and so I'm learning to recreate myself. I hope you enjoy it.

credits

released March 5, 2021

mastered by timothy taylor

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remy owen Los Angeles, California

don’t get your hopes up

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